讲述：当婚姻成为过去时

I don't know about most divorced ladies, but I saw my split with my husband coming -- by a few years. I'd brought it up a few times, and he kept talking me out of it, which was sort of a relief. But I knew I was just postponing the inevitable. So I came up with the list: My Plan B. Everything I needed to put in order before I could divorce my husband for real, this time.
我不知道其他有过离婚经历的女性是怎样的，但我和我丈夫的分居经过了好长时间的迂回。我向他提出来好多次分居要求，他也作出过让我心软的挽回。但是我心里面明白，这只是时间的问题，我和他之间的分开是无可避免的。所以，我给自己做了一个B计划，因为如果离婚不可避免，我要我的生活重回正轨。
I'm so glad I made that list and followed through with it. I'm glad I didn't wallow in denial -- or in false hope. Some might say I doomed my marriage by giving up that hope and planning for the worst. But who's to say what the worst is? I say planning for a split is the most hopeful thing a woman can do.
我很庆幸我做出了这个计划，而且按照计划行事。我也很庆幸我没有因为婚姻的不幸而就此沉沦，或是变得不切实际。一些人可能会说，我对我的婚姻主动放弃，还为之做出这种糟糕的计划。但谁说这种计划是糟糕的呢？相反，做出计划对分居以后的女人来讲是十分有帮助的事。
First on my list was to get a full-time job with health insurance. Before I'd just sort of pieced together a career with freelance this and that. But if I was going to be on my own, I'd need much more stability. No more swinging from vine to vine. Plus, I knew I'd need a reason to get dressed and leave my home every day. I knew working from home in my pajamas would not be conducive to my recovery.
计划的第一条是：找一份全职工作，并给自己买健康保险。之前的工作都是些零散的自由投稿人之类的工作做。然而现在我要靠我自己生存了，所以，我需要我的工作更加稳定。不能消沉酗酒，我需要的是整齐着装，做个职场女性，我知道，穿着睡衣在家工作很难让自己振作起来。
But it wasn't enough for me to just get "a" job. Something about taking the bold step of admitting I was headed toward a divorce also emboldened me to stop monkeying around with my career and start working at something I actually wanted to do. As long as I was thinking about what I wanted my life to look like, it just made sense to apply that to my career.
当然不仅仅是找一份工作是不够的，有时候必须大胆的承认自己面临着离婚，必须鼓励自己向着自己一直以来的写作梦想前进。只要我规划我的事业和人生，我的事业就会通往成功。
And then I got a hold of my finances. I should have been doing this all along, but I created a spreadsheet tracking all my expenses. I wanted to find out if I could actually make it on my own. To my great relief, the math all worked out.
合理理财也是我的计划之一。早就该这样做了。我创建了一个电子表格，将我所有的开支全记录在案，我想试一下自己理财的能力，还好，结果表明我的数学头脑是够用的。
That's not everything from Plan B, but it's enough to show something interesting: Planning for the "worst" outcome actually improved my life before I even started to divorce my husband. Suddenly it was no longer about giving up -- it was about making smart choices and planning for the future. Even if I hadn't decided to divorce, I would have been moving ahead with a clearer vision of what I wanted my life to look like.
当然生活里有很多事是B计划里没有的，但是这个离婚前的B计划帮助我在最难得时候过得很好。蓦然间，我觉得我这么做不是对生活的放弃，而是用最聪明的方式去迎接未来。尽管，离婚对于我来说是不可避免的不幸，我的离婚前B计划却在这个时候让我更清晰的看到我想要的未来。
You never know what's going to happen next. It may not be divorce -- your husband could die suddenly. Anything could happen. Viewing your life through the lens of "what if" can be just the motivation and perspective shift you need to make changes that will make you happier regardless of what happens with your marriage.
你永远无法预测未来，人生是什么都有可能发生的，也许不是离婚然你们分离，也许天灾人祸让你们阴阳两相隔。为你的未来做几个假设可以让你改变观点和视角。所以，请确保无论你的婚姻发生什么状况，你都会活的快乐。
Have you ever made plans for what you'd do if you lost or divorced your spouse?
所以，女人们，你有计划吗？